ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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