Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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