Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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