Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer http://tfl.nu/p97m
  Replies (2) Good night (622) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people http://tfl.nu/qth2
  Replies (34) Good night (6700) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever. http://tfl.nu/idj0
  Replies (39) Good night (5618) Bad night (1119)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER. http://tfl.nu/2z74
  Replies (25) Good night (6293) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh. http://tfl.nu/1se4
  Replies (72) Good night (6561) Bad night (1969)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex.. http://tfl.nu/6q5t
  Replies (14) Good night (1012) Bad night (3226)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud! http://tfl.nu/toc7
  Replies (7) Good night (4071) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad. http://tfl.nu/si1p
  Replies (15) Good night (1631) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now. http://tfl.nu/2zl0
  Replies (5) Good night (2093) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive (1-303): Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose http://tfl.nu/eyzf
  Replies (6) Good night (854) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI. (1-410): Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return. http://tfl.nu/zi1i
  Replies (10) Good night (932) Bad night (1939)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show. http://tfl.nu/ezu8
  Replies (2) Good night (848) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future" http://tfl.nu/8p29
  Replies (7) Good night (977) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck. http://tfl.nu/9cle
  Replies (1) Good night (729) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut? http://tfl.nu/nfyo
  Replies (13) Good night (675) Bad night (334)

Randomize