Texts From Last Night

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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up

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  (647): I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up http://tfl.nu/4ijk
  Replies (10) Good night (491) Bad night (2776)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule

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  (512): got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule http://tfl.nu/94hw
  Replies (16) Good night (6910) Bad night (700)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear

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  (248): she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear http://tfl.nu/c4tr
  Replies (25) Good night (6523) Bad night (1375)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?

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  (720): Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head? http://tfl.nu/r6cb
  Replies (20) Good night (8101) Bad night (1977)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?

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  (954): I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today? http://tfl.nu/ptoy
  Replies (39) Good night (5882) Bad night (1040)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head

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  (817): but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head http://tfl.nu/vzhl
  Replies (5) Good night (751) Bad night (2448)
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  (347): View more from New York

  It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself

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  (347): It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself http://tfl.nu/qcs9
  Replies (5) Good night (2235) Bad night (705)
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  (916): View more from California

  I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished 

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  (916): I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished  http://tfl.nu/f0m1
  Replies (7) Good night (888) Bad night (578)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant

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  (937): I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant http://tfl.nu/spdi
  Replies (10) Good night (1130) Bad night (306)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?

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  (845): I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it? http://tfl.nu/d94j
  Replies (4) Good night (972) Bad night (306)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile

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  (406): Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile http://tfl.nu/ji9d
  Replies (2) Good night (661) Bad night (487)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.

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  (480): Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night. http://tfl.nu/s016
  Replies (9) Good night (1405) Bad night (282)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.

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  (719): The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies. http://tfl.nu/1axa
  Replies (3) Good night (767) Bad night (250)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.

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  (+44): He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy. http://tfl.nu/3usl
  Replies (1) Good night (841) Bad night (172)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away

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  (267): We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away http://tfl.nu/41eq
  Replies (4) Good night (632) Bad night (148)

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