Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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