I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
