your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
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Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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