i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
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What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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