Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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