You smell like a Billy Joel song
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
