I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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