he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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