I just made out with a guy for $7.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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