They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
