that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
