Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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