Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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