I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
