Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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