I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
