we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
