We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
