Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
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We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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