You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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