I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
