My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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