she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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