Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
you had me at cake vodka
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
