Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
