If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Who put my cat in the fridge?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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