If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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