I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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