oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
honey bunches of taint.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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