You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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