Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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