Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
