I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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