dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
