the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize