I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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