Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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