So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
