As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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