At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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