Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
