If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
