Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
