I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
