I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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