party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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