opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
