Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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