So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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