the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
