Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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