it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
