haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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