She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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