I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
they call him Oral-B. enough said
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
