Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
