Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
