There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
