It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
