the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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