Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
