everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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