Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
