You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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